I was thrilled to be asked to give my thoughts on the fabulous Modern Morals column in the Irish Independent last week. While I'm not loving the 'Agony Aunt' label, I do think of myself as a bit of a Midlife Muddler and happy to share my learnings learning how to swim through the mayhem.
Do you ever feel like there’s a large ticking time bomb hovering maliciously above your head as you rush through the day, tripping over the never-ending To-Do list, trying to get everything done on time before the bomb goes off and blows up your carefully cultivated life?
One of the most confusing conundrums of this unique and redefined midlife is how - when we have all this extra time to live - do we never feel we have any time?
If you’re looking around you in surprise wondering...
You’re probably used to thinking about how you are, but do you ever wonder where you are?
Of course, at midlife this could mean anything:
Hormones? - in ignorance / peri / WTF?? / post menopausal??
Dress size? - this shop no longer fits me / is this a wardrobe or a dressing up box? / straddled between ‘do I look too old in this?’ and ‘do I look too young in this?’
Wine aisle? - why is there no calorie...
This isn’t about being a “Drama Queen” or an “Adrenalin Junky”.
It’s about whether, in the midst of the mayhem of midlife, you live your life pulled constantly by external exploits, or driven by internal intentions.
Perhaps you find yourself constantly reacting to people and situations in ways that, on reflection, didn’t really help you - or the situation?
You’re not alone. We all have autopilot behaviours that play out without us really...
I was delighted to give my thoughts for a feature in the Irish Independent on the female midlife crisis.... although I argue that it is no such thing. Challenging yes, but an opportunity to start living life on your terms. .
For those who don't subscribe.. here is the copy:
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want?! was blasted out by the Spice Girls in the late 90's Wannabe, but is it a question you really ask yourself, especially at midlife?
And even then, often we 'want' what we think we should want, rather than what we intrinsically want inside.
We're conditioned by our culture from an early age to see our potential or develop a vision in terms of prescribed successes in career, family, wealth and acquirements such as houses and...
Confession of a coach - I’m not perfect and I haven’t got it all sorted!
Phew! It’s good to get that out. Sometimes I’m so busy being the coach, I forget to admit I’m also me!
Do you ever have moments where you just feel at the end of your limit?
We all know what burnout feels like, what overwhelm feels like. When the plates spin too fast, or when haphazard hormones get the better of us. When you are literally at the end of your...
*1. Everything is up for interpretation. Every event, every interaction, every reaction and response, every thought, and yes, every one of my beliefs. All are up for interpretation depending what lens I am looking through, and instead of clinging to my ego-led chains for dear life, I am free to grow, change, evolve and prioritise. How liberating!
*2. I have much less control of all the things I thought I should when I was younger, and so much more control over the things I assumed I...
Find habit forming hard? My habit hacking might just help! Habit Hacking simply either adapts or re-engineers an existing habit or routine.
Habits are how you live your life. They make it easier because you don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time you repeat tasks often. The downside however is also that you don’t reinvent the wheel, therefore performing the habit without thinking at all. Researchers believe at least 40% of our days are lived this way.
Which is why at midlife,...
A lot of my coaching work is about helping women work out how to be happy.
Of course that’s not necessarily what they say when they come to me, but essentially, for all of us, that is our ultimate goal, isn’t it?
So maybe it’s about figuring out who they are after a divorce or separation, or after years of child-care-and-parent-care-and-relationship-care, and they went to remember what it feels like to have self-care.
Or often it’s about a career change; a new...