Newspaper features and other posts

Independent feature, 24th November, 2023

 

This was based on my recent newsletter survey - still open at https://alanakirk.substack.com/p/can-i-pick-your-brain

I've copied the article below but the link to the article is under Premium features here -  https://www.independent.ie/life/several-women-told-me-they-didnt-have-their-first-orgasm-until-after-their-first-marriage-ended-what-women-really-want-from-midlife-is-better-sex/a811158593.html

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Independent, 25th August 2023 - Modern Morals advice column

My husband died after a long illness 21 months ago. I recently met a very nice man and we’ve been seeing each other. We’re both in our 60s and have a lot in common.

Question

During a very passionate evening I made a terrible mistake and called him by my dead husband’s name. I was so embarrassed. But now I’m wondering if I started dating too soon.

Some of my children think it’s cute that I have a special friend but one daughter won’t discuss or comment...

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Independent feature, 8th August, 2023 - Midlife Marriage MOT

Alana Kirk
 

The kids have grown, retirement is still a distant vista and while you perhaps don’t have to go as far as redoing your vows, saying ‘I do want this now for our marriage’ is a healthy thing to do.

“I was scared that I’d lose my marriage because I wasn’t prepared to live the rest of my life the way we’d functioned to raise our children,” says Patsy (57) about when her kids had left home. “We...

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Independent feature, June 6, 2023 - Breaking the Midlife Rules

Kathy Donaghy
 

Why is it that the heroines of fiction are rarely menopausal women? Best-selling author Joanne Harris asked the same question and when she wrote her new book Broken Light she made sure her 49-year-old protagonist had a super power.

In her page-turning thriller, Harris casts an eagle eye on society’s attitudes to women in midlife and by giving her main character, Bernie, a power she’d suppressed all her life, she upends the...

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Independent feature, May 31 2023 - Embracing empty nests

Alana Kirk
 

“After 25 years of juggling work and family, I’ve reached a perfect stage where nobody cares if I’m home or not. At 55, I feel young, vibrant, with loads to do. I didn’t want to be defined by my mother role alone. I’m much more than that,” explains Fiona O’Sullivan, who has given up her three-decade career in the civil service to run her own business.

The image of the forlorn empty nester is...

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My Midlife awakening - May 2023, IMAGE magazine


My midlife awakening: ‘Who the hell am I now?’

"Discovering who we are can be a confusing thing for a woman. Partly because we are plugged into the patriarchal matrix from the moment we are born, shackled to the societal expectations of what a Good Girl should do and look like. And partly because we can get to a point when our sense of identity is more often than not defined by our relationship with others – daughter, sister, mother, wife, partner. It’s not easy for...

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The decision that may decide the rest of your life.

 

A huge part of what I do as a coach for women in midlife is help them find clarity around the best decisions they can make for themselves now, and in the future.

I don’t just mean the big decisions at a crossroads - What do I need at this age, at this stage of my life? What’s next? Who am I and how do I learn to thrive after years of being on survival mode?

I also mean the small but so significant ones. Ones that may feel minor at the time, but end up having such a huge...

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Lessons I've learned about ageing

Hooray! I'm 53! 

My birthday started with early morning yoga and ended with late night bubbles... not a bad birthday sandwich for 53. 

I can't tell you how happy I am to be here, still standing (actually, dancing) feeling so grateful to be where I am, and so full of potential for what's ahead.

I can only imagine what my 13, 23 and even 33 year old selves would have thought about this age. They'd likely have thought I'd be devastated, simpering with sorrow as I retreated into...

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Dating after 50. Facing the trauma of Tinder? Midlife dating can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.

 

 When my marriage ended, I looked at my 45 year old reflection in the mirror and wondered how I was ever going to summon up enough courage, confidence and concealer to date again. I googled solitary retreats before pulling the duvet back over my head. The last time I’d dated was almost last century, when a swipe left meant I’d been graciously groped.

We now have an extra 20/30 years of life expectancy, to be lived in the middle, not the end of our lives, so it’s...

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Independent feature, 12th July 2022 - Dating in midlife

This is the feature from The Irish Independent from 12th July 2022... fantastic to get a few radio interviews as a result. 

 

The truth about dating after 50: Some men are just looking for a place to live

Dating when you’re older is not for the faint-hearted, but there is also a freedom to create a relationship that suits your needs, writes the Midlife Coach, Alana Kirk

At midlife, many people find themselves searching for ‘the one’. Again. A new...

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