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Dating after 50. Facing the trauma of Tinder? Midlife dating can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.

 

 When my marriage ended, I looked at my 45 year old reflection in the mirror and wondered how I was ever going to summon up enough courage, confidence and concealer to date again. I googled solitary retreats before pulling the duvet back over my head. The last time I’d dated was almost last century, when a swipe left meant I’d been graciously groped.

We now have an extra 20/30 years of life expectancy, to be lived in the middle, not the end of our lives, so it’s...

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Dating in midlife - redefining relationships (Irish Independent, 12/7/22)

This is the feature from The Irish Independent from 12th July 2022... fantastic to get a few radio interviews as a result. 

 

The truth about dating after 50: Some men are just looking for a place to live

Dating when you’re older is not for the faint-hearted, but there is also a freedom to create a relationship that suits your needs, writes the Midlife Coach, Alana Kirk

At midlife, many people find themselves searching for ‘the one’. Again. A new...

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Modern Morals at Midlife

I was thrilled to be asked to give my thoughts on the fabulous Modern Morals column in the Irish Independent last week.  While I'm not loving the 'Agony Aunt' label, I do think of myself as a bit of a Midlife Muddler and happy to share my learnings learning how to swim through the mayhem. 

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How to Defuse the Mid-life Ticking Time Bomb in 3 Simple Steps

Do you ever feel like there’s a large ticking time bomb hovering maliciously above your head as you rush through the day, tripping over the never-ending To-Do list, trying to get everything done on time before the bomb goes off and blows up your carefully cultivated life?

One of the most confusing conundrums of this unique and redefined midlife is how - when we have all this extra time to live - do we never feel we have any time?

If you’re looking around you in surprise wondering...

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The most important question to ask yourself

You’re probably used to thinking about how you are, but do you ever wonder where you are?   

Of course, at midlife this could mean anything:

Hormones?   - in ignorance / peri / WTF?? / post menopausal??

Dress size?   - this shop no longer fits me / is this a wardrobe or a dressing up box? / straddled between ‘do  I look too old in this?’ and ‘do I look too young in this?’

Wine aisle?   - why is there no calorie...

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Do you chase drama or adventure (and how do you chase the right one)?

This isn’t about being a “Drama Queen” or an “Adrenalin Junky”.

It’s about whether, in the midst of the mayhem of midlife, you live your life pulled constantly by external exploits, or driven by internal intentions.

Perhaps you find yourself constantly reacting to people and situations in ways that, on reflection, didn’t really help you - or the situation?

You’re not alone. We all have autopilot behaviours that play out without us really...

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Don't fall into a midlife crisis - it's an opportunity

I was delighted to give my thoughts for a feature in the Irish Independent on the female midlife crisis.... although I argue that it is no such thing.  Challenging yes, but an opportunity to start living life on your terms. .  

https://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/its-a-fundamental-change-to-who-you-are-how-to-survive-the-female-mid-life-crisis-40809872.html\

For those who don't subscribe.. here is the copy:

 

‘It’s a fundamental change to who you...

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What is your authentic potential?

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want?! was blasted out by the Spice Girls in the late 90's Wannabe, but is it a question you really ask yourself, especially at midlife?  

And even then, often we 'want' what we think we should want, rather than what we intrinsically want inside.

We're conditioned by our culture from an early age to see our potential or develop a vision in terms of prescribed successes in career, family, wealth and acquirements such as houses and...

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Why I'm not perfect, despite being a coach

Confession of a coach - I’m not perfect and I haven’t got it all sorted! 

Phew! It’s good to get that out. Sometimes I’m so busy being the coach, I forget to admit I’m also me! 

Do you ever have moments where you just feel at the end of your limit?

We all know what burnout feels like, what overwhelm feels like.  When the plates spin too fast, or when haphazard hormones get the better of us. When you are literally at the end of your...

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10 lessons I’ve learned as a MidLifer.

*1. Everything is up for interpretation. Every event, every interaction, every reaction and response, every thought, and yes, every one of my beliefs. All are up for interpretation depending what lens I am looking through, and instead of clinging to my ego-led chains for dear life, I am free to grow, change, evolve and prioritise. How liberating!

*2. I have much less control of all the things I thought I should when I was younger, and so much more control over the things I assumed I...

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