My midlife awakening: ‘Who the hell am I now?’

"Discovering who we are can be a confusing thing for a woman. Partly because we are plugged into the patriarchal matrix from the moment we are born, shackled to the societal expectations of what a Good Girl should do and look like. And partly because we can get to a point when our sense of identity is more often than not defined by our relationship with others – daughter, sister, mother, wife, partner. It’s not easy for...

A huge part of what I do as a coach for women in midlife is help them find clarity around the best decisions they can make for themselves now, and in the future.

I don’t just mean the big decisions at a crossroads - What do I need at this age, at this stage of my life? What’s next? Who am I and how do I learn to thrive after years of being on survival mode?

I also mean the small but so significant ones. Ones that may feel minor at the time, but end up having such a huge...

Hooray! I'm 53! 

My birthday started with early morning yoga and ended with late night bubbles... not a bad birthday sandwich for 53. 

I can't tell you how happy I am to be here, still standing (actually, dancing) feeling so grateful to be where I am, and so full of potential for what's ahead.

I can only imagine what my 13, 23 and even 33 year old selves would have thought about this age. They'd likely have thought I'd be devastated, simpering with sorrow as I retreated into...

 When my marriage ended, I looked at my 45 year old reflection in the mirror and wondered how I was ever going to summon up enough courage, confidence and concealer to date again. I googled solitary retreats before pulling the duvet back over my head. The last time I’d dated was almost last century, when a swipe left meant I’d been graciously groped.

We now have an extra 20/30 years of life expectancy, to be lived in the middle, not the end of our lives, so it’s...

This is the feature from The Irish Independent from 12th July 2022... fantastic to get a few radio interviews as a result. 

I was thrilled to be asked to give my thoughts on the fabulous Modern Morals column in the Irish Independent last week.  While I'm not loving the 'Agony Aunt' label, I do think of myself as a bit of a Midlife Muddler and happy to share my learnings learning how to swim through the mayhem. 

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Do you ever feel like there’s a large ticking time bomb hovering maliciously above your head as you rush through the day, tripping over the never-ending To-Do list, trying to get everything done on time before the bomb goes off and blows up your carefully cultivated life?

One of the most confusing conundrums of this unique and redefined midlife is how - when we have all this extra time to live - do we never feel we have any time?

If you’re looking around you in surprise wondering...

You’re probably used to thinking about how you are, but do you ever wonder where you are?   

Of course, at midlife this could mean anything:

Hormones?   - in ignorance / peri / WTF?? / post menopausal??

Dress size?   - this shop no longer fits me / is this a wardrobe or a dressing up box? / straddled between ‘do  I look too old in this?’ and ‘do I look too young in this?’

Wine aisle?   - why is there no calorie...

This isn’t about being a “Drama Queen” or an “Adrenalin Junky”.

It’s about whether, in the midst of the mayhem of midlife, you live your life pulled constantly by external exploits, or driven by internal intentions.

Perhaps you find yourself constantly reacting to people and situations in ways that, on reflection, didn’t really help you - or the situation?

You’re not alone. We all have autopilot behaviours that play out without us really...

I was delighted to give my thoughts for a feature in the Irish Independent on the female midlife crisis.... although I argue that it is no such thing.  Challenging yes, but an opportunity to start living life on your terms. .  

https://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/its-a-fundamental-change-to-who-you-are-how-to-survive-the-female-mid-life-crisis-40809872.html\

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